I want to be a Domesticated Goddess!

I wanna be her!

Reader, what am I doing wrong?!  I am a mummy of two kids, a 7yr old daughter and 5yr old son.  They are fed and watered, clean clothes, looked after well, and I am pretty sure they are happy.

However, my house is not happy, it often looks like a tornado rips through it on a daily basis no matter how hard I try to be a good wife and mother and clean the grease of my elbows.

My schedule, generally consists of;

• 7am wake up and shower (if I am lucky!)
• 7:15am wake up kids
• 7:20am make kids breakfast
• 7:30am chase kids upstairs brush teeth, wash faces
• 7:40am get kids into school uniforms
• 7:55am kids downstairs watching a bit of tv, chance to blow-dry my hair, in between yells of ‘BEHAVE! STOP FIGHTING, LEAVE YOUR BROTHER ALONE!’
• 8:15am sort out schoolbags, reminding myself that I really should do this chore in the evening
• 8:20am Do daughters hair, in between her yells of screams that I am hurting her tugs
• 8:25am tell kids to get their shoes and coats and scarves and hats and gloves on
• 8:27am tell kids to get their shoes and coats and scarves and hats and gloves on
• 8:30am scream at kids to get their shoes and coats and scarves and hats and gloves on
• 8:35am daughter’s friend rings door bell
• 8:35am roar at dog to stop barking at door bell
• 8:40am kiss daughter goodbye
• 8:45am Ask son where he has put his school shoes
• 8:50am get son in the car drive him to school
• 9am go to supermarket
• 10am put groceries away and curse at the crap I shouldnt have bought
• 10:30am have a coffee
• 10:45am start cleaning kitchen, living room, hallway, downstairs loo
• 11:30am have a look at Facebook
• 12 noon put a laundry on
• 12:15 have lunch
• 1pm start making beds and tidy bedroom
• 1:30pm empty washing machine, sort out clothes put into dryer
• 2pm off to school and pick up kids

WTF…I havent started upstairs yet, I have two bathrooms to clean.

• 3pm Children are yelling for snack
• 3:15pm fold laundry from dryer
• 3:45pm MY KITCHEN!!!!!! *sob* That darn tornado has gone through it AGAIN!
• 4:15pm try to clean one bathroom, in between ‘LEAVE YOUR SISTER ALONE….’WHAT WAS THAT BANG?’
• 4:45pm What do I make for dinner
• 5pm start making dinner, while trying to help with kids homework
• 5:30pm eat dinner
• 6pm clean kitchen
• 7pm Emmerdale *yay* I am now past caring the state of my kitchen
• 7:30pm Husband comes home from work, it’s now his turn to take over kids, he baths them
• 8:30pm say good night to the kids
• 9pm…..FRAZZLED

Schedule variations;  On Mondays and Wednesdays, I have to run son to taekwondo at 4:15 and I have to wait until 5pm, hardly worth going home so I fill myself up with caffeine, get home at 5:30 (rush hour) and start dinner.  Tuesdays, Daughter has cheerleading at 6pm-7pm so I need to get dinner in sharp! Fridays daughter has dance class from 6:30-7:15

Reader, where in that schedule do I fit in baking, crafting with the children, doing anything that is generally fun?

I have friends, believe it or not, when I go visit them, their houses are like show homes, they have children the same as me, they manage going to the gym, or spending a day in the city shopping and lunching, manicures, pedicures, things I can only dream off. They also craft, bake, make their own darn Christmas decorations! HOW?!?!

I have one friend who has 5 kids and either they don’t live in that house, or I am doing something drastically wrong.  You could probably eat in their bathrooms it’s so sparkly, go into my bathroom and you will quite possibly be met with an unrolled toilet roll, or worse, my son has just removed his boxer shorts and left them!

When I do get a good day and my house is top to toe spotless, I feel generally smug, but give it an hour and that freaking tornado will whip through the house leaving nothing unturned.

I bought, How To Be The Perfect Housewife, By Anthea Turner I looked at the first page and was too exhausted to any further.

I'm more like her!

Flog the Blog

I will start by saying, I aint doing no daily blog postings, this is not a diary, in fact, I dont actually have a diary, well, other than one that I store all the kids activities in.  Oh, and I will also quickly mention that I am Scottish, just in case you all think I cant spell colour correctly.  I say this as I have American friends on my facebook and twitter pages who comment on my ‘wierd’ spellings.  So, now I have got that out of the way, I will continue.

So, I am not going to make myself to be a fossil, but, back in the day, I used to blog.  I was a digital scrapbook designer and also a scrapbooker, the latter I dont do so much scrapbooking as I  would like, because of this thing called life!  Anyway, I blogged about products and layouts that I did and also photographs I had taken.  But back in the day it was simple, brought up the dashboard, typed what I needed to say and publish…boom, its done.

So, I came back to wordpress to see that my blog is still here, last post November 2008! I thought it would be easier just to delete the blog and give it a makeover.

Reader,  its not that easy.  I had to go through at least eleventy hundered links to the left of my dashboard to find out how to do it, that took me at least an hour, then I had to confirm through email if I really really wanted to take such a drastic measure.  And confirm again that drastic measure!

Then I had to set the whole thing up again, I took up my old blog title.  I then went through another eleventy hundered themes to prettyfye the blog, often coming across one thinking, that looks nice, but, I will try another, loosing the one I really liked. The ‘theme’ I have just now, just has to do, until I calm myself down to look for another.

Widget…For f’s sake, I not even going to comment on widgets!

My brain is slowly dying, now I need eleventy more million links through settings how do I want my blog to look, who gets to see it, do I want ratings…WTF! I want to write and publish my post and if a reader wants to comment, let them dammit!

Categories and tags, WTF! Now you have stressed me out with writing up one freeking post now I need to categorise it then add tags, my brain cant work anymore!

So reader, I am tagging this as blogging, if you have stumbled here looking for a tutorial on blogging, you seriously have come to the wrong place, in fact, I should have googled blogging before I started this I may have saved me some stress and tears!